This website is all about getting more freedom in our lives. The way to go about this is working on different business projects to get more money, getting in the gym to get healthy, and putting in work being sociable to have positive relationships in our lives.
The problem for a lot of people lies in the relationships. At some point in the process of doing all this work, it’s a good idea to ask yourself why.
Whether we want to believe it or not, a lot of what we do is controlled by subconscious urges. The desire to reproduce secretly commands most, if not all of what we do. What ends up happening though is that we’ll get into a relationship with someone down the line and it will completely sabotage any gains we’ve made. Relationships have a way of making a man complacent, and thus making us feel as though we can finally take a rest.
There is no rest. Ever.
A Vicious Cycle
Here’s a typical relationship cycle:
- Meet other person, go out for a while
- Girl enamored with guy
- Couple gets comfortable, finally show who they really are
- Guy starts getting complacent because he’s got his relationship squared away
- Girl starts losing respect for him because he’s not on the grind like he was when they met
- Girl breaks up with guy
The guy never learns and then goes out and finds another woman to get in a relationship. He doesn’t learn why they broke up, because to do so would lay blame on himself and the ego is too strong to admit any fault.
Break the Cycle
You have a couple ways to stop this from happening. The first thing you could do is just never get into a relationship. This is easier said than done, and often times more work than it’s really worth.
The better option to take is to continue on your path and try to tone down or zone out as much as you can the hidden influence of reproduction in your pursuits. Replace this rationale with something that won’t ultimately sabotage your progress.
In other words, don’t make chasing women your ultimate pursuit. Make it something else.
I’m not saying to become a hermit in lieu of talking to people, but just move getting into a relationship, having sex, or having children down on the priority list behind your business and health goals.
You may think to yourself that if you don’t treat meeting women seriously you will never have women in your life. The irony here is that it’s often the opposite because once you start getting progress in your business pursuits, you will start having success with women as well. It just happens that way.
Men with a mission in life besides women have a certain swagger, a certain charisma about them that makes them attractive.
A great example of this that comes to mind was the PUA movement of the mid 2000’s. A number of groups formed to teach men how to pick up women. The main people in this movement were focused on building a business around this concept. This gave them a certain edge. The head honchos of the PUA movement became attractive. Then there were hoards of copycats who weren’t really as business savvy as the leaders in the field. They were in it to actually meet women, and maybe make a few bucks on the side. Is it any wonder that we don’t hear from them today?
Don’t compromise on your mission
If the only reason you are hustling is to eventually be cool enough, and have enough money to be impressive enough for women, then you will most likely meet failure. Your reason should be a higher ideal than that.
My ideals are self sufficiency, freedom, and answering to myself. Women are there in that mix somewhere, but I’m confident enough in myself now that I can go out and meet them on my own accord. You have to strike a balance in your life or else the whole thing goes out of whack.
How women have tried to compromise me
Maybe your experience has been different, but whenever I start going out with women they always try to get me to lay off my usual routines. Here’s a couple examples that have happened to me:
- Women tried to get me to change my healthy diet. They couldn’t figure out what the big deal was about eating healthy.
- Women tried to stop me from going to the gym at night. I could only go at 9-10 PM at the time and they wanted to go out and didn’t like waiting to go out.
- Women have sucked up my time with BS which could be better served working on my business.
Sometimes I resisted this compromise and sometimes I didn’t. Every time I didn’t it didn’t work out for the best. Eventually they feel the power shift and lose respect.
Every time I resisted this compromise, the women were initially peeved but still held respect for me.
Ever notice a lot of the advice out there for getting over a breakup is to start working on you? The reason for this is to get your mind from dwelling on shit, and at the same time to get you back to the guy you used to be before compromising.
Here’s some advice once you get back to being that guy again: Don’t compromise on your ideals, and stay on target.
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